girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
