Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
