So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
