grandma shit on top of the toilet
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
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