Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Shame - the story of my life.
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