Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
