Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
