i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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