did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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