i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
