ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
