i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
