she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
