just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
