with your own penis?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
