Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
