But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
