Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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