so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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