Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
