I want to stick my p in your. b.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
