Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
