Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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