His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
