Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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