my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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