i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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