ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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