i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
