i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
