I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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