I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
