We named our party play list daddy issues
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
