The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Everything about him screamed your future.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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