is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
