Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize