I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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