All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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