her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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