just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
