Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
