Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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