Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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