still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
