Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
