Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
