Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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