thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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