we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
