I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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