We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I love you.
Bad choice
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
