i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
high people should be assigned attendants
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
