I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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