Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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