so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
