We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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