No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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