i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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