In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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