I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
