I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
