butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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