Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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